what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
