I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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