just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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