We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
