Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
