The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
wow bdsm is so cute
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
