We're facebook friends in real life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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