my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
