"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
