What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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