Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
