No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
