Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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