This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
