Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh god it's open bar.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
