I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
