I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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