false alarm. still invincible.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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