you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
