I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Even the bartender felt bad for me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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