The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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