i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
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If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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