Just cropdusted the office
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dignity is for republicans.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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