I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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