Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
