Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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