is wine microwaveable?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
