you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
