Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
