I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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