I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You pole danced in your parka.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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