Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
how drunk are you?
Several
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
