But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
