Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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