I can tuck mytits in my pants
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
