We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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