I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
