The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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