it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
