She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
