i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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