I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
