can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
