Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
