wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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