Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
