I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
