you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
