ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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