For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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