I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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