just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
