I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
