were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
