it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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