ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize