Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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