Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i love accidental penises.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
