dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
