I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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