and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
