my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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