They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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