There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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