Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
