If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you made out with another girl for some wings
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
