Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
