after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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