Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
