3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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